How to Neutralize Your Emotions

One of the most powerful tools for not just your relationships but life in general is the ability to neutralize your emotions. It’s a foundational skill for creating deep, meaningful connections with your partner, family, and even yourself.

So many couples are diverging onto separate paths, leading to increased separation and divorce. But one of the most transformative tools I teach in my Alive Partner Course is learning how to neutralize your emotions.

This tool isn’t something I developed overnight. It took me over 25 years of personal experience, countless books, and more than $500,000 of investment in courses, therapies, and training to discover how to effectively neutralize emotions. This journey culminated in a 14-year marriage where I’ve had the opportunity to face the highs and lows of emotional experiences. What I’ve learned from that, combined with almost three decades as a physician, has shaped the Alive Partner Course and community that I now offer to you.

So, why is neutralizing emotions so critical? The truth is, when something painful happens, most of us are conditioned to suppress or avoid the feeling. We’re taught to “just get over it.” But this suppression leads to long-term harm—emotionally, mentally, and even physically. The more we repress our emotions, the more damage we create over time.

But here’s the good news: Neutralizing emotions is not about diving into deep psychoanalysis. It’s about learning to feel and then neutralize what’s coming up. In the Alive Partner Course, I teach practical, fast-acting tools to help you do just that. For instance, one of the simplest yet most powerful tools we use is intentional breathing. By focusing on your breath in moments of emotional intensity, you can instantly calm the mind and neutralize the emotions that are threatening to overwhelm you.

I recently had an experience with my own son that highlighted the importance of this practice. After a tough day at school, he was crying and beside himself with frustration. Instead of trying to fix or suppress his emotions, I used the same tools I teach in the course—allowing him to feel his emotions fully while I practiced deep, compassionate listening and intentional breathing. The results were transformative, for both of us.

The ability to neutralize emotions will not only transform your relationship with your partner, but it will also positively impact all your interactions—whether with your children, colleagues, or even strangers.

If this resonates with you, and you’re curious about taking this journey with me, I invite you to explore the Alive Partner Course. It’s designed to equip you with actionable tools to change your relationship and your life right now.

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