The Power of Listening More

Hearing is easy, but truly listening is a different skill altogether. As a reminder to my kids, I often say we have two ears and one mouth, meaning we should listen twice as much as we speak. While children may take this lesson to heart, adults often struggle with it. We tend to talk more than we listen, seeking validation and significance from others.

Recently, many members of the Alive Partner Community reached out for support on ending fights with their spouses. It’s a common struggle, but there’s a simple yet powerful shift you can make right now: listen more than you speak.

One of the hardest moments in a relationship is when your partner brings up something uncomfortable. You may feel judged, misunderstood, or even unfairly attacked. Your natural instinct might be to defend yourself or prove your partner wrong. But what if, instead of reacting, you took a breath and just listened?

Letting your partner express their feelings without interruption can be transformative. It defuses tension, opens up communication, and creates space for healing. In fact, listening deeply—without judgment—can soften both you and your partner, leading to greater understanding.

Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about connecting with what your partner is truly feeling. This deep form of listening, which I call listening with your feelings, is something I teach in my Alive Partner Course. When you learn to listen in this way, you’ll find it stops fights, strengthens intimacy, and brings you closer to being wanted, loved, and cherished again.

If you’re ready to shift gears in your relationship and reconnect on a deeper level, tune into my weekly YouTube Live on Wednesdays and Instagram Live on Fridays at 1:30 pm MST, where I dive into these topics and answer your questions.

Let’s take the first step toward better communication and a stronger relationship. I look forward to seeing you there!